Today I thought was going to be a good day, and it may still prove to be a good day, but as of now it has been one of mediocrity or worse. The plan was to take the dog to the dog park, have him hang it with his new friends, I’d hang out and do some small talk with the other owners, and it would be fun for all. Then I was going to go to church, maybe hit one of the islands, drink some beer when I get home, relax, and go to sleep.

The first planned item of the day turned out to be utterly weird and somewhat scary. I was one of the first three people at the park today since we got up earlier than usual. One of the regulars, Dacia–a lovely pitbull mix, was there, and another dog I wasn’t familiar with was there. Soon after I arrived about ten more people and their dogs showed up. It was most of the same people that came early during the week. Some of these dogs have taken a liking to Max, and vice versa. They all get along well and play around with each other, chasing each other, and sometimes getting rough and tumble. Nothing out of the ordinary.

About a half-hour goes by and a small Asian woman shows up with a very well built Rottweiler, and he was beautiful. She also had a similarly sized mutt of an unknown mix. The unknown mix dog was very friendly with Max and myself. The Rottweiler was not. Almost immediately as I was standing behind the crowd watching Max, here comes the Rotty and he starts getting aggressive and was barking at me. At first I thought “alright he wants to play,” but he quickly made it apparent he wasn’t playing by jumping at me and trying to snap at me. At first I was startled and backed off a step or two, but he only got worse at that because as Cesar Milan says, when you back off they take that as a sign of submission and will only continue or get worse. So once I got my wherewithal I started turning to my side and putting my strong leg into him. He barked some more, but he got the message and backed off. He walked away and started trotting around, and I also walked away with Max at my side so we could enjoy the park with the other dogs.

I found a stick and started playing with Max, Dacia, and Brutus (a larger lab mix of unknown breeds). They get along quite well and were running around with the stick in all three of their mouths. It was adorable. Brutus would take the stick and Max would go after him, then Dacia would follow suit. It was really fun for us all. Soon we came back into the larger crowd to mingle and sure enough doesn’t the Rotty decide he’s Mr. Bigshot and starts coming at me yet again. The same showdown transpires, so I won’t labor on about specific details. The lady that owns him thinks this is wonderful she says because I’m the only one that’s ever stood up to him and got him to back down. She also says this might help the others see him as a big baby. I’m thinking she’s out of her fucking mind. This dog has shown to be extremely aggressive to me twice now in ten minutes, and he also went after another older guy in between the two events.

Honestly after the second time I should have asked her to leave. Her other dog was very helpful in the event because he was actively snapping at the Rotty’s hind legs and jumping on him trying to drag him off of me. This helped, but it clearly wasn’t enough. The lady takes her two dogs down to the end of the park (it’s a nice size park) away from everyone where her two dogs continue to go at it pretty violently. We could hear them quite well from some distance away. So I guess they got tired eventually and she starts walking back towards the crowd. By this time we were all starting to talk bad about her lack of control over her dogs. She was clearly not in control.

Now for the third time the Rotty comes after me, but this time he was a bit more serious, and Max was getting nervous. He did bark at the other dog a lot, and he may have snapped at him a few times, but he was half the dog’s size. The Rotty definitely tried to bite me this time and I got extremely pissed off and started aggressively stepping into him. I was border line on beating the shit out of him and fighting him. He is a big dog, yes, and it would be stupid to do that, yes, but I was starting to see red and was getting very angry at this point because this is the first time I have had a dog in my adult life come at me this way. Most dogs love me and love my attention. I am three times this dog’s size and I am not in the mood for this shit anymore. He backed off finally, but Max was so freaked out he started taking after the Rotty and jumped at me and snapped at my left hand several times. I quickly knocked him to the ground to get him to stop, and he did. The mood was very strange at the dog park. You could feel it in the air. Everyone’s adrenaline was going at this point and the dogs could sense it as well. They were all going crazy by this time chasing each other, snapping at each other more than usual and in a less friendly way.

Unfortunately this Asian woman still didn’t get the message and thought it was okay to stick around. Definitely shame on me for not having the heart to tell her to leave because in my mind it wasn’t my place, and I’m very new to dog park etiquette. I wasn’t about to leave on her account though and make my dog miss out on his fun time.

Her Rotty decided he was going after the dogs now since people weren’t working in his favor. This set us all off because he picked one of the sweetest dogs in the group. He wasn’t a small dog, bigger than Max, but he is typically a nice dog and gets along with everyone. The victim dog absolutely went berserk on this Rottweiler though. It was insane. They went to full on battle mode and all of the other dogs got involved as well as the people. Every single dog in that park went after the Rottweiler, but that Rotty was not small and is very powerful. None of them could break him off. The owner of the victim dog stepped in and tried to get her dog to back off,  but the Rottweiler bit her, but since she wasn’t the target he didn’t go full force and only bruised her hand. By this time we all demanded that this woman needs to leave and to never bring that dog back to the dog park because no one likes him and no one can get along with him.

I then find out that this Rottweiler has a history of severe aggression towards men, has mauled one man’s hand/arm at the park already, and has bitten several other people, including women who were probably trying to protect their dogs. If I had known all of that beforehand I would have called the police the first time he tried coming at me. That dog has no business being around people and the woman needed to know that. Unfortunately we all concluded that since this isn’t the first time she will probably come back some other time thinking the air has settled. There is little doubt in my mind that he will bite someone a lot more seriously and will have to be put down because she does not know how to handle dogs. It’s not that he’s a Rottweiler by any means. Being a Rotty just means he’s a little more enabled on a physical level to seriously injure and possibly kill someone. She’s a bad owner and has zero dominance over her dog. The dog was oblivious to her commands every time he came at me, another man, the other dog, and the other dog’s owner.

So that’s how my Sunday morning has been going so far. Hopefully it’s not a sign for the rest of the day.

The church is called Sea Coast Church. It’s a non-denominational Christian church. The presentation is very modern. The beginning started with three Christian Rock songs, which is when I began to get startled at the number of people, mostly women, who knew the songs, were actively singing, and were dancing. This is a major culture shock to an old fashioned Catholic man. Once the songs were over one of the Pastors made a brief speech about what to expect, and then the head Pastor, Greg Surratt, made an appearance. He talked for about ten minutes, we watched a video about a four year old kid that claims to have been in heaven during a surgery to remove his burst appendix, and then the Pastor continued talking for another twenty minutes I guess.

Regardless of how I feel about the four year old kid, the head Pastor was very good at describing some long-standing issues within the Christian community, namely the idea of the Trinity. I especially appreciated his description of what the Holy Spirit is. He said it is like a taster. The analogy was here in Charleston you have a wide variety of great food and often times these restaurants come together at a tasting event to provide samples of their great offerings, but the purpose is to make you realize that as good as the samples are, the real deal is that much better. So his story was something about going fishing with his kid on a marsh land nearby and for a good twenty minutes they simply sat in silence and listened to the sounds of their surroundings. Doing anything else would have felt wrong, and they both knew it. He described this as a God moment where God is showing you a small piece of what it is like to be in Heaven, but it is only a small taste of the real deal. I appreciate that description because I have had those moments, but never had that sort of perspective on the matter. He described that as the purpose of the Holy Spirit. It comes upon you at times unknown to show you what will come when your human life is over.

I’ve never had such an immediate connection with a religious idea in the years I went to Catholic church. Whether it’s the Catholic church’s fault or not is unknown, but the simple matter is it was never possible for me to feel that engaged and that in touch with the topic of discussion. The routine was too draconian and everyone was so caught up in the routine that they spent no time thinking about these things.

I’m not saying I’m suddenly religious again, but it was a refreshing take on a difficult topic: death and what happens afterwards. That is, after all, why many people turn to religion, so they can feel comforted that there is something beyond the flesh. I would be lying if I said I didn’t desire something as well.

It’s been a month since my sailing desires have begun, and I have made no progress on that front. I can’t say I’m terribly bothered right now because simply working is going to be a time consuming process. It’s looking like ten hour days at a minimum and likely seven days a week. The weekends are supposed to be rotated, but they’d prefer you come in as often and for as long as possible.

What’s happened this past month? Not much. Found out my bank offers “premium” overdraft protection, which basically amounts to a line of credit at the cost of $35 a transaction after you have no money left. So naturally I had no money left and signed up for this program. In one month I’ve spent almost $1,000 in overdraft fees alone. That’s pretty awful. I’ll be canceling that as soon as I pay my rent.

In other news I got some furniture from Rent-A-Center. Have to pay that one off in 90 days to pay normal retail price and own the furniture, otherwise I just keep paying to rent until I max out at something like $2500, which is absurd. Some of that overtime should make paying it off easy. I rented a TV too, but that’s going back in a couple of weeks. It’s far overpriced compared to retail, whereas the furniture is actually a good price for a full living room set with coffee and end tables ($1200).

That’s pretty much it for now. Nothing terribly important to talk about. No life reflections, no self loathing this time. Just life as usual. Oh, I’ve been cooking a lot in the past week. Trying to stop going out to eat. Need to lose weight and stop wasting money. Those are the two most relevant goals to my present needs.

I’ve been dreaming of buying a sailboat in some far off land and sailing it home, or at least what I call home now. For instance, there was a beautiful older wooden boat for sale in Peru. I couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like having to go through South America to get the boat and sail it back. It would be full of danger and excitement. Normally I despise thrill seeking, but lately I’ve relaxed my attitude a bit. I’ve become more nonchalant about almost everything. I’ll still get riled up, but when it comes to life and limb I tend to press things more than usual. This is the result of an incredibly boring life thus far. So back to Peru: I guess I would have to fly because I simply cannot imagine driving that far, though it is possible. The route along the way is less than kind to Americans and I have no desire to get caught up in that shit, so I’d just as well fly as directly as possible, then buy the boat, and then prepare it for a long journey through part of the South Pacific, then having to navigate the Panama Canal for the first time (not a simple feat, or so I’ve read), then through the Gulf around Florida and to what I call home now, South Carolina.

This truly is just a dream, and one that I probably will never get the chance to act on, but my “safety zone” is no longer restricting the possibility. Perhaps I could buy a boat from Washington and have to sail around the US coast, along Mexico, through the Panama Canal, and back home. That would still be quite the adventure, and my life is in desperate need of an adventure. The drive to South Carolina was just a mini adventure, and it has only slightly whetted my appetite. Now I kind of want to travel the country at least, if not the world. Traveling the world is less appealing these days. Though, I guess if there isn’t some risk involved then there probably isn’t much reward involved either.

So, for now I am mildly content at just browsing these sale ads for sailboats. Coming down the road in the future I am going to grow less content with what we consider a traditional lifestyle of going to work every day and doing the same boring shit everyone else is doing. I’m afraid that is not going to work for me for the rest of my life. I want more out of life. I want to have stories to tell that don’t involve me being liquored out of my fucking mind and contemplating wrestling an alligator in the pond behind the bar. I mean yeah it’s fun for everyone that was there, except for me because I don’t remember any of that happening. I want to remember the fun stuff. I want to be a fun person. I need some culturing. I’ve been sailing before as a child, though we didn’t know much of what we were doing, and yeah I was kind of terrified of the whole process, but sea sickness was never a problem, so I can get over the terror of heeling over once I am the one in control and not my father.

The future could be very bright, but I have to attack it soon because I feel I am running out of time. My body is no longer handling the things I’ve done to it very well and it’s only going to get worse with age.

I’m not saying I should forget past events altogether. It’s foolish to forget where you come from, but I need to stop letting the past dictate how I feel right now. It should be used as a guiding mechanism and nothing more. So, in the future if I ever have kids, and I’m not too sure I want kids anymore, then I would certainly think long and hard about enrolling them in a program that separates them from their friends or class mates. The outcome for me was ultimately social retardation plain and simple. I am overwhelmed with stress and anxiety when I’m around people I’m not already comfortable with. Sometimes I can force myself to deal with it and on occasion that turns into a positive friendship or acquaintance.

Another issue that nags me constantly is my abandonment of my love for drumming. I cannot ignore that I was very much into drumming as a teenager. I suddenly stopped because I wanted to sell my kit for a whole $350. I couldn’t tell you what I did with that money, but I can tell you that I regretted the decision to sell it almost immediately and have regretted giving up drums ever since. So in the future I will use that experience to guide my (currently non-existent) children on a path that encourages pursuing something they are passionate about that doesn’t have to revolve around money.

Then there is the decision to not go to a proper college out of high school. I suspect this one will be a problem for me forever. It’s going to be very difficult to ever not dwell on this topic because I know there is a lot I missed out on through the college experience and the advantages to having a degree. The only productive thing I can do here is encourage any future offspring to not make that mistake. Going back anymore seems like less and less of an option. I will never be able to participate the way I should have participated: full time.

Oh well. Such is my life. I’ve made a lot of bad decisions and continue on that path pretty regularly. I sit, I drink, and I reflect. I need a hobby. I wasted a lot of money coming down to South Carolina that I could be using to pursue a couple of ideas for new hobbies. Bleh.

I moved to South Carolina on May 2nd. Specifically I moved to Mount Pleasant, which is a lovely area full of shops, food, and beautiful women. There are also two islands within five to ten minutes with wonderful beaches, and they are Sullivan’s Island and Isle of Palms. I moved here to work for Boeing on the 787 program. They helped me relocate and now I’m in training for the next ten weeks.

I originated from Delaware County where I stayed my entire boring life (up until now of course). A lot of factors precipitated my departure, and I will only get into one or two.

The primary factor was dreading my normal routine at the Ridley Park facility for an extended period of time. I signed up with the Boeing company over four years ago under the pretense, and I don’t know where I got it from, that the company was ran professionally and things were organized. Well I was woefully wrong. I learned quickly that time served was far more important than useful knowledge or work ethic. Part of this is a fault of being in a labor union where the weak are protected rather extensively and the strong are treated the same no matter what. I don’t know about you, but I prefer to be treated according to my actions. I took advantage of this ability to get away with almost anything and started acting like an ass. That mentality just got worse as time went on and eventually I started getting moved around because bosses didn’t feel like dealing with my shit. I finally settled into a final assembly position on a secondary line that was primarily focused on more difficult work packages. Over time I grew a little and started acting like less of an ass, but eventually the work started to dry up. It was during the last six months of my time at the Ridley Park facility that I began to consider moving to another area.

I heard about the South Carolina facility from several coworkers that were thinking about making the move because they were similarly tired of the bullshit, and the area was kind of boring too. I finally caved and decided it was time to freshen my resume and apply for some spots. I was initially turned down for everything, but after another revision to my resume I was offered an interview. They flew me down, put me in a nice hotel, and performed the interview. I did okay. It wasn’t spectacular, but it was good enough. I provided the majority of what they wanted to hear, plus having over four years in the Boeing company helped a lot I’m sure. I was offered a job the next day, and I foolishly accepted right away. I could’ve almost certainly counter-offered for another $1000 or so, but I was eager to get things going.

I am now a happy resident of a very warm state full of (so far) friendly people. Some of the local driving habits take getting used to, like driving well below the speed limit, taking forever to get to their given speed, and not using turn signals almost routinely. It’s a small nit though because the area is very good. It’s full of sites to see on a daily basis that I don’t think will get old very soon. The availability of shopping, fishing, and the beach life are huge. I am a fat guy, but I still love the beach. I love the sound of the waves and the birds. I love the smell of saltwater in the wind. I enjoy baking in the sun, at least until my neck burns, which isn’t so fun.

I have high hopes for this life change. I would love to become better at fishing and maybe take up kayaking, canoeing, and sailing. Those things will come in time.